What Everyone Wants to Know
by She Who Shall Go Nameless
Summary: Booth and Bones have a romantic night thanks to Angela. Now everybody wants to know everything about it. B&B rated for suggestive content. Plotless, essentially, and hopefully funny.


**For the record, this is my first attempt at Bones Fanfic, so if the characters seem off, just let me know. Also, this story really has no plot, it just goes to show how absolutely psychotic I can be. I hope you get a laugh out of it. Also, let me know if the rating should be M. I wasn't sure.**

**My name is Abby. Abby owns nothing. Except, the bit about the European prison camp does belong to her Literature class, so that must count for…absolutely nothing.**

**PS Happy MLKJ day!!**

The party was dull. Incredibly dull.

"I want to go home," Brennan whined into the ear of her best friend. Angela, however, was not listening. Rather, she was surreptitiously sneaking glances at a certain hot FBI agent across the room, who was not-so-surreptitiously staring at Brennan. Longingly.

"Sorry, sweetie, what did you just say?" Angie singsonged. She knew she was being annoying, but if she had to drag this woman into reality kicking and screaming, she would.

"I want to go home!" Brennan repeated, a little louder this time.

"So go home," Angela said slyly, stifling a grin. Maybe, if she could annoy Brennan enough, she would be a little more open-minded about a certain piece of F.B. eye candy.

"Angie! I carpooled with you!" Temperance complained, letting her anger show through a little tiny bit.

"Why the racket, Bones?" both women whirled around to see Seeley Booth grinning down at them. "Party host cut you off on your pre-mortem versus post-mortem injuries monologue? Because that's not rude, just normal."

"Shut up, Booth," Temperance groused, rolling her eyes. "Nobody asked your opinion."

"She has no way of getting home because she carpooled with me, and I'm not leaving for a few hours yet," Angela informed Booth nonchalantly, as if she were unaware that an increasingly grouchy woman was standing by her side with her arms crossed and a heavy scowl marring her otherwise pretty features.

Booth looked like he was trying to make a decision about something. Angie knew that he was just itching to offer Tempe a ride home, but he was afraid it would somehow qualify as crossing the 'line' that Tempe seemed so comfortable with. _She only thinks she likes it this way,_ Angela wanted to scream, but she refrained. He looked down (_was there something interesting on the ground?_ Angela wondered briefly) and fiddled with his tie before making his decision. "I'll take her. C'mon, Bones," he said decisively, placing his hand at the small of her back and giving her a little push. "Bye, Ange."

"Bye," she replied, injecting as much suggestiveness into the one puny word as she could. Booth rolled his eyes, just as Brennan began to protest his apparent 'alpha-male tendencies.'

"Do NOT push me, Booth. I am perfectly capable of walking by myself. Your damn Alpha Male thing is grating my last nerve tonight. You can't stand the idea that you don't have to help me do every little thing, and because I'm not willing to submit to your whims like every other woman you've ever met…"

_Please, Booth, don't make the wrong move here,_ Angela prayed as she eavesdropped on the unwitting couple.

"Bones, for the last time, I do not have Alpha Male tendencies." Booth said stiffly, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. She could have no idea how tempted he was to exhibit some of his more private alpha male tendencies.

"Oh, yeah?" Temperance challenged him, secretly enjoying the argument. "Prove it, then."

Angela crossed her fingers, toes, arms and legs, and also screwed up her face praying to the powers that be that Booth would do something, _anything_ romantic. How could they continue to ignore something that everyone around them already knew?

Silence. Then — "I cannot BELIEVE you, Booth! In what world did kissing me—mmph."

At Brennan's words, Angela whipped around so fast that she got a crick in her neck, but it was worth it. She grinned broadly at the sight before her: Booth had Tempe pinned up against the wall, and they were kissing passionately. _Finally. There's my girl._

As Angela watched her two friends going at it with morbid fascination, they broke apart slightly, and she barely heard Booth breathe, "Your place or mine?"

Angie waited until her two friends had left the party for sure before succumbing to the urge. She whooped excitedly and pumped her fist in the air, earning odd looks from her fellow partygoers.

"What?" she asked sweetly. "Can't I express my excitement over true love?"

&&&&&&&&&&

Angela was waiting in Tempe's office when she came in the next morning.

"Sweetie, someday, I promise that you will thank me if I convince you to get a lock on your office door." She said suggestively, trying to get Brennan to admit it on her own. No such luck. Brennan turned away from Angela on the pretext of putting away a file folder, but in reality she was hiding her smile.

"I'm still here, Sweetie," Angela reminded her, and she turned around to face her best friend, unable to fight off the smile spreading across her face.

"What do you want?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "What do you think, Sweetie?" she asked, barely containing her enthusiasm.

"Um, the file for our latest murder case?" Brennan asked innocently, raising her eyebrows.

"NO!" Angela nearly howled. "I want to know how your night was!"

Brennan seemed to consider this before looking straight into her eyes. "It was dark," she informed Angela with a voice so serious that someone might have died (well, someone other than their latest murder case).

"ARGH!" Angela yelled in frustration, stomping her foot and hopping up and down like a child. "No! I want details. How many times? How was it? What sized condoms should I buy you guys as a wedding gift? And where did you do it?" she practically squealed.

"Angie! You were spying on us?" Temperance demanded.

"Of course! Oh Honey, you are _such_ a Chick Flick!" Angela really did a full squeal that time, and hugged Tempe tightly.

Temperance frowned slightly. "I don't know what that means."

"It's a good thing, Hun. Trust me. Now spill, now!"

Brennan blushed slightly. "Alright. Three times. Extra large condoms but nobody said _anything_ about marriage. His place. And it was…Fantastic." She finished breathlessly, smiling dreamily and pulling her fingers through her hair.

"YES!" Angela yelled loudly, whooping just as she had the night before. "Oh, Sweetie, I am so happy for you! But really, where did you do it?"

"I told you, his place," Brennan said, confused. Angie rolled her eyes.  
"I know _that_. But I mean, did you do it on the couch, or in the shower, or against the front door, or on the kitchen table—"

"—or possibly in a _bed_," Tempe suggested, smiling slightly at her friend's overactive imagination.

"OH MY GOSH!" Angela screamed. "YOU DID IT ON PARKER'S BED?"

"She did _what _on Parker's bed?" Hodgins asked, sliding into the office and closing the door behind him.

"Made love to Booth. Three times!" Angela informed her fiancée excitedly.

Hodgins raised his eyebrows. "Finally."

"First of all, eew. We did not and will not ever do it on Parker's bed. Second, was I the _only_ one who didn't expect this?" Temperance asked them, bewildered.

"Well, of course. After all, you are perfect for each other," Hodgins stated matter-of-factly, as if commenting on the weather. "So anyway, how was it?"

Temperance rolled her eyes and picked up a file folder. "Oooookay. I need to get to work with my bones."

"Hey! Wait! Sweetie! Was he a gentleman? Did he let you be on top? Did he cook you breakfast this morning? Hey!"

&&&&&&&&&&

Angie was just inputting the data that they had so far on the case into the Angelator when Zack walked up to her.

"Did something happen between Dr. Brennan and Booth last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Zack began nervously. "Booth just got here and when he saw me, he not only acknowledged me, but gave me a man-hug and asked me how I was. And Dr. Brennan has been singing a 'Happy Working Song' for the past forty-five minutes."

"Huh."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Did something happen between Booth and Dr. Brennan last night?"

Angela set down her clipboard with a sharp tap and turned to face the young anthropologist. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes. I thought that that would have been clear by now."

"All right then. See, yesterday, the two of them were abducted and taken to a Prison Camp in Europe, where Booth chose to wallow in self pity while Tempe saved the day. You see, she traded her red-cross cigarette rations for a penknife. At first, she carved a bigger knife to try and take on the guards, but they had machine guns so that didn't quite work. Then she tried carving a spoon and digging an escape tunnel, but that didn't work either. So in the end, she carved a whole dinner set, invited the head guard for dinner, and made friends with him, at which point she betrayed him by stabbing him in the eye with her pointy stick. But she only had enough time to do that because she skipped craft night!" Angela smirked at Zack's dumbfounded expression before walking away to find out if the other Squints had found anything worthwhile. Zack turned to Hodgins.

"I get the feeling that Angela was not telling me the truth just now."

"Nooooo, buddy. How could you have _possibly_ reached that conclusion?"


End file.
